童年阴影

I was surfing the net looking for jobs.
I noticed that most jobs require candidates to be adaptable to ‘fast changing environments’.
Honestly, I really don’t like changes, small changes ok lah, but not fast and big changes.
This is probably due to my 童年阴影

When I started Std 1, I was enrolled in a ‘sekolah rendah kebangsaan’.
After 2 or 3 months, my mum noticed that the school wasn’t very good and transferred me to a Chinese primary school.
After finishing Std 1, my mum thought the environment of the 2nd school wasn’t good either and hence I transferred to another Chinese school again when Std 2 started.
Then, in Std 4 I changed from the normal class to the ‘best’ class.

Everytime I change school or change class, I need a lot of effort to adapt.
Everyone seemed to know each other as they started the class together and were friends already.
I find it difficult to mix with them and my Mandarin wasn’t good either.
I also need to keep up with what everyone has learnt cos different school and class may have different teaching plans.
You may think that it’s good for a kid to be exposed to changing environments.
But, eventually, I kinda developed a phobia when I knew I’m gonna enter into a different environment.

Even a friend whom I got to know last year while working noticed that I don’t like changes.
She said that I always ordered the same drink or food when I went to particular stall for breakfast or lunch.
I didn’t realize that until she told me.
No one has ever told me that before or I may have forgotten.

But no matter how, I still have state in my resume that ‘I’m adaptable to the fast changing environments’ and pretend to be adaptable when I start working.
This world is so real.